Gamer Fuel™, Gamer Grub™, and now… Gillette Fusion Power Gamer™ razors. Seriously? I’m already not the first to comment on this, but I feel like I would be doing our readership a disservice by not acknowledging it. So Gillette has decided that the surface of a gamer’s face is less like that of a regular person and perhaps more like that of… I don’t know… the Agro Crag (Agro meaning aggressive, Crag meaning rock. That is one aggressive rock. Now, let’s go to Mo for the scores. MO!). So what’s the difference between the Gillette Fusion Power and the Gillette Fusion Power Gamer? The packaging. That’s it. Seriously. I looked. It is the same razor as its non-“gamer” counterpart, though possibly less “one three three seven”. More ranting after the break.
So… either gamers are dumb, or marketing executives are. Let’s look at some numbers. According to cbsalary.com, the US national average income for a marketing executive is about $110K a year. As the term “gamer” is a broad category with many people falling under it, we’ll look to the US census and average income in general to get an idea. Hell, I’ll even give gamers the benefit of the doubt and give them a 10% margin of error. According to this chart, the average US citizen (albeit in 2005, sorry for my inability to find current data) was making about $35K a year. Ok, let’s say that that number is totally and off and double it. $70K a year. Ok, now add that 10% margin of error. $77K a year. So now we’re unreasonably at 77K and still almost 40K away from the salaries of these executives. Realistically, if you’re a gamer like I, the only 40K you’re familiar with is Warhammer.
But, Logan, higher income doesn’t mean smarter. No, you’re right, it doesn’t, but these execs obviously don’t get paid that much for failing. This isn’t the US banking system for goodness sakes. It does say one thing though: there are people out there buying this crap. It’s the same reason we get spam e-mail and telemarketers, because someone, somewhere, is thinking, “Zomg! I’m a gamer. I need to shave on occasion. With this razor and a 6-pack of my Gamer Fuel, I’ll be unstoppable! Watch out n00bzorz!” If it didn’t sell, we wouldn’t see it, plain and simple.
::sigh:: Thanks Gillette. Now I have another excuse to keep growing my beard.
In other news, we’ll be continuing to bring more noteworthy events to your attention through both the blog and our podcast this Thursday. We’ll hopefully grab some more Grid stuff, as life has been rather Pixel dominated as of late. I think that I’ll do my part by getting a Necromunda gang together and teaching these guys a thing or two about the Van Saar boys and how we roll (and before you say anything Kyle, I picked Van Saar first so stfu). James will be talking about Games for Windows Live, I might also give my update to Exodus, and Jim will likely not write his article on Acheivements (but really, the site looks great). Also, I wouldn’t be surprised to see some editorial action by Jeff, Dave, and Kyle.
Also, for those of you who missed the joke in the headline, it’s worth explaining.