the lazy magic writer – magic sucks (at the moment)

This is the reason why Magic sucks.

This is the reason why Magic sucks.

Fellow PNG writer Logan Persons shot me an email about 30 minutes ago with the following content:

whose dick do i have to suck to get some MTG posts?  Just point me in the right direction.

Since I’m married and I don’t want it to have to get to that, here’s a small update with my thoughts about Magic in its current incarnation: It sucks.

Sorry, but those are my feelings about it. I’ll get around to it after I explain what I’ve been doing for the past few months since my last update.

In May, I prepared for Grand Prix: Seattle, where I placed 49th and won $200 and a pro point for my troubles. Here’s my list of opponents and the decklist I played:

Day One:
R1-R3: Byes due to a GPT win.
R4: David Dobis – U/W Reveillark w/ Borderposts. Win 2-1.
R5: Steve Sadin – Jund Aggro. Loss 1-2.
R6: Tom Martell – Swans Cascade. Loss 0-2.
R7: Joseph Peters – Bloom Tender Reveillark. Win 2-1.
R8: Kevin Rand – 5cc Planeswalkers. Win 2-1.
R9: Doug Potter – Faeries. Win 2-0.

Day Two:

R10: Brandon Willis – B/W Tokens. Win 2-0.
R11: Stan Bessey – 5cBloodbraid. Loss 1-2.
R12: Mauricio Blanco – B/W Tokens. Win 2-1.
R13: Cristian Calcaro – Faeries. Loss 0-2.
R14: Gabriel Nassif – Jund Aggro. Win 2-1.
R15: Thomas Huteson – Faeries. Win 2-1.

Final record: 11-4 (8-4 in matches).

Decklist follows after the cut…

4 Tattermunge Maniac
4 Figure of Destiny
4 Jund Hackblade
4 Hellspark Elemental
4 Boggart Ram-Gang
3 Anathemancer

4 Magma Spray
4 Flame Javelin
3 Terminate
3 Volcanic Fallout

3 Ghitu Encampment
4 Auntie’s Hovel
4 Sulfurous Springs
4 Graven Cairnes
8 Mountain

Sideboard:
3 Chaotic Backlash
3 Everlasting Torment
3 Pithing Needle
3 Deathmark
1 Banefire
1 Anathemancer
1 Volcanic Fallout

Unsurprisingly, I decided to play a red/black “Sligh” variant that I’ve had success with in the past.

After the Grand Prix, I got a job as a PHP/Java programmer and business analyst, and I’ve moved to a new place as well. Additionally, my car is completely broken down, so getting to Magic tournaments in the first place is a bit of a difficulty. Add to the fact that one of my main playtesting partners went back to Portland for the summer (he’s a UW student), and it’s not hard to see why Magic’s lost its luster.

Lest I let Wizards off the hook here, I want to say that the new Core Set (M10) is a piece of dogshit. The new rules don’t impact the Constructed game all that much, but it does make some substantial changes to Limited. I have no problem with the rule changes themselves, but the cards they released aren’t particularly exciting; maybe they’re not supposed to be, since it’s a Core Set, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. The creatures are either bland and boring or absurdly overpowered (see Baneslayer Angel above). For Christ’s sake, compare Serra Angel to Baneslayer Angel:

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

This is what pisses me off the most – Wizards of the Coast prints two cards at the EXACT same mana cost and the EXACT same creature type yet one is wildly better than the other.

M10 is just boring. I preferred Shards of Alara block for all my moneydrafting purposes, and I hope Zendikar (prerelease date: September 26th) changes things. Right now, Standard is full of Five-Color Control decks and Anti-Five Color Control decks (and some Faeries with Lightning Bolt, I guess) due to the idiotic decision to print Vivid lands and Reflecting Pool simultaneously. As further evidence that Magic sucks, I played in a Pro Tour Qualifier last week with red/black and went 2-2 drop. That definitely counts for something.

Anyway, I hope Zendikar greatly improves the Constructed format and that M10 is soon forgotten about, because right now, Magic sucks.

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2 responses to “the lazy magic writer – magic sucks (at the moment)

  1. Icelancer! you raging asian you! email me @ mtgohio@hotmail.com

    It’s the ever horribad Wild_Mage!

  2. Just admit it your a bitch who sucks at magic.

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